Killer in Shadow
by Legend of Phoenix
Summary: For years Blaine Anderson has tried to isolate himself from the others because of the dark secret he holds. But after since he has met Kurt, the boy who he is hopelessly devoted for, his heart has been melting little by little. Fighting against himself in the shadow alone, Blaine may just find his dark side too hard to hide.
1. Night Hunt

**Prologue**

**Night Hunt**

Midnight.

The empty street was dimly lit by a few streetlights. Cars parked along two sides of the streets, forming a perfect straight line. In the houses where the light was gone, people were sleeping soundly, following to where their dreams were leading them. Night breeze came across the street occasionally, and leaves danced to the music of nature. It was a sweet night to be.

But shadows exist.

One shadow, particularly, was eager to find his next prey. His heart was bumping against his chest loudly, the adrenaline in his body rose with the rhythm of his heartbeat. Nothing would stand in his way. Tonight was the perfect night.

Quickly he found himself at the entry of the pub. Behind the thin glass was the strange world of joy. He held onto the door handle loosely, gave it a slight push, and there he was, under the flashing colours and disco music, he would be the king of this world.

He unbuttoned the upper part of his shirt, moved slickly between the dancing bodies. At the end he picked a corner to sit in.

Nervous, perhaps, he looked across the whole dance floor and for the first time, he did not know where to start with. Then, it happened. A hot gaze from the other end of the room, fixed on his body, he smirked as he waited.

The girl, where the stare came from, slowly approach to him. With a drink in her hand, she picked to sit next to him.

"How come a hot guy like you are alone?" The girl played with her hair, but avoided any eye contact with him.

His eyes, narrowed, ran down to the girl's neck, breast and legs, and then returned to her eyes as he smiled. "The same reason why you are here alone."

The girl noticed his stare, so she inhaled deeply, pretended not to care but failed to. She stood up and said to him, "Aren't you going to ask me to dance?"

"No." He replied.

He watched the disappointment and the embarrassment on the girl's face. He stood up next to her, lowered his voice and whispered in her ear. "But I'm going to take you to a quiet place with no people."

He took her hand and found a completely dark spot in the pub. Pressing her body against the wall, he kissed her on the soft lips. The girl, impatiently grabbed the short curly hair, led both of them in a much faster pace. Short of breath, he broke the kiss first and felt the warmth from a strange girl.

"So, where are you taking me?" She tilted her head, with her arms around his neck, she curiously asked.

"To a place where I do what I do." He answered in a playful tone.

The girl smirked, flirting with her eyes. "And what do you do?"

The long eyelashes flickered, unleashing the strong desire for the body.

"I hunt." He whispered.


	2. Boiling Gift

**Chapter One**

**A Boiling Gift**

Under the boiling Sun in July, two men got off from their car. One was older in appearance than the other, also much taller too. The younger one, however, was rather the one who was leading the way, walking confidently toward McKinley High's empty open gate.

The younger one, Blaine Anderson, scratched his dark chocolate hair as his hazel eyes looked around the buildings. Beam of soft sunlight landed on his face and made his eyes shining like a clear crystal. His walk, strong and assured, drew the attention from a few girls who were sitting on the side fence giggling.

Not long before they found themselves in the principal office as appointed. The principal had a serious look at the academic reports and the application form. After a few minutes of silence, he had finally spoken.

"So, from what I gathered, mister Anderson is hoping to transfer to McKinley High. Is that correct?" asked the principal.

"Yes." The older man replied while Blaine noticed the wooden name stand on the desk that said "Figgins". He then looked back to Figgins, who was now about to ask Blaine a question.

"And Blaine, could you please tell me why you'd like to transfer to here?"

"Of course." He crossed his hands at his knees. "I've always interested in the glee club, and I've seen your glee club here, the New Direction. They impressed me so much. This is my passion and so I've decided to transfer. And then, of course, unlike other traditional schools, McKinley High allows students to imagine what they dare to imagine, and this is definitely what I look for too."

The principal nodded and took a few notes, but what came next was a sorrowful sigh. "Hopefully you'd understand that in normal circumstances we don't take students this late."

The older man, who was Blaine's father, pushed up his thick glasses. "Yes, I understand my son's application is very late, but –" But Blaine put a hand on his father's, indicating him to stop.

"Well, as a proud principal of this school, I'd be very happy to take your son as part of our students." He paused. "Blaine, you're a well-rounded student. Your academic records, sports or music records, all show you're on top of the top."

"Thank you." Didn't expect the compliment to come, Blaine shied away from the eye contact.

"But as an educator, speaking from personal viewpoint, I'm afraid this school's offer will not satisfy your son." Principal Figgins stated. "From your application form," he switched the form to the top, "mister Anderson, you come from Dalton Academy, a top ten high school within the United States. I've seen people who tried everything they could to get into Dalton. And yet, with many other better choices in Columbus, you came to Lima and picked us."

"That is right –"

"I don't see where the problem is." His father interrupted Blaine, showing his frustration and anger. "My son is an elite! What is the problem?"

"Please calm down, mister Anderson." Figgins called. "It's not a problem for your son to enroll, trust me, I'd just hope that you two to, maybe, reconsider your choice."

Blaine's father, who was now standing, was even more furious. He pointed his finger. "I don't care what you think, alright? My son is an elite so you take him as one of your student, alright? You either enroll him now, or you wait for me to sue the fuck off your ass! Now!" He shouted.

The shouting had to be very loud. A few administration staffs turned their heads around to see what had happened through the window. Blaine's face was embarrassingly hot and red. Uncomfortable in his seat, he also stood up but to apologize. "I'm very sorry, Principal Figgins. I'm sorry about any inconvenience that we've caused you today, but I really AM interested and wished to study in McKinley High." He looked to Figgins.

Figgins swallowed hardly, froze in his seat, he was still trying to understand the situation. He had never dealt with a parent who had such bad temper like this.

A few moments had passed, Blaine's father was calmed again and they both sat down. Figgins, in shock, but managed to squeeze a few words out. "Okay... Alright, umm, go to the admin staff and they'll help you with the enrollment and all."

"Thank you!" Blaine almost sang his words in melody. His eyes occupied with thrill, suggesting to his father that they should leave the office before it was too late.

They closed the door and immediately every staff was staring at them. Knowing the shouting could leave a bad impression; Blaine again apologized for his father. They quickly walked to the front desk and enrolled into classes. Fifteen minutes later, they were already in the car again.

"How did I do?" Blaine's father asked.

Blaine did not answer. He was looking at the empty place where the girls were sitting at earlier. That question was silly. How did he think he went? Blaine pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and took out a ten-dollar bank note.

"Now drive." He handed the note to the older man without looking.

"Oh come on, you said twenty before!" The man complained. "And I got you enrolled!"

Now Blaine turned to him and gave him a death stare. "Got me enrolled? You almost ruin my plan. Your shouting is the least thing I'd want."

"Well, fine! Anyway, my job is done." He put the ten-dollar note in his pocket and loosened his tie.

"No." Blaine simply stated. "Drive, in case they're watching."

"Watching? Like spying on you?"

Blaine looked to the front. "Just drive."

The man started the engine and turned the wheel. He could not help but laugh as he drove. "Kids, I've no idea who you're, but you're either insane or..." He laughed again. "I've no fucking idea! This is ridiculous. You're just insane. Honestly." The man shook his head.

Ignoring all the things the man was saying, Blaine seemed to be concentrating in his own world.

"And where am I dropping you?"

"Here." Blaine answered.

"Alright." The man pulled the car over to the side. Blaine quickly got off the car and walked away. He heard a faint shout from the man saying, "Fucking crazy kid!"

He looked back. McKinley High was already out of sight.

At the main road he got on a taxi to get home. The taxi driver had a good old taste for music. On the CD player it was Bee Gee's Stayin' Alive. In his childhood, Blaine's mum loved to play this song in every sunny afternoon as she chopped the frozen chicken in the kitchen for dinner. She would ask Blaine to dance to it, even though he was in slight resistance, the groove at the end always won.

But the afternoons when the sun did not come out were different, too different, as he recalled. There would be no Stayin' Alive, no music at all. His mother would chop the chicken like she had gone mad. Blaine never tried to bother his mother when she was on edge, because one wrong move could mean more than smacking and slapping on his face. But there was one day, and the only day where he did the wrong move.

It was after his teacher told the class that everyone should be celebrating when it was their birthdays. On the road to home it was raining heavily and the wind was roaring like a lion out of the cave. In fear, but Blaine thought it was worth a try. It was, after all, his birthday today. Perhaps his mother would act differently just for this one day.

With all his hopes held up high, Blaine rushed to home and found her mother, as usual, sitting on the sofa, staring at the black screen on television.

"Mama?" His voice shaking, he approached to his mother without making too much noise.

"Mama?" He asked again. His mother still had not moved.

Blaine put his hand on his mother's arm. He watched, and realized how undernourished she was. He could see the blue veins mapping on her hands, extending to her upper arms. Her eyes, dark and empty, like her soul was taken away from her. Her hair was brittle and had long lost its gloss. He never grasped the idea of how broken her mother was until then. Suddenly the idea of celebrating his birthday had disappeared and was replaced by a sense of guilt.

The boiling water escaped from the spout of the kettle, leaving an irritating noise unable to endure.

"Come." His mother said calmly.

She stood up and walked into kitchen. Blaine followed behind, unsure of what was going through her mother's mind.

Her mother turned off the gas and placed the kettle on the kitchen countertop. She then grabbed his arm firmly with one hand, and with the other hand pushing up the sleeve of his top.

"No! Mama!" Blaine cried. He knew what was going to occur. He could feel the heat from the boiling water in the kettle already.

"No, mama! I'd never do this again, please!"

"You're a bad boy..." His mother murmured. In her troubled voice, she had found her grief and fury. "You're a very bad boy!" She shouted in Blaine's ears.

His body trembling, Blaine tried his very best to break free from the grip. "No mama! I'm not! Please mama! Please stop! This is hurting me!"

"You're naughty boy..." His mother continued to grumble. "And this is why my husband has left me! It was all you!"

"It was you!" Her mother moved one of her hands to get the heavy kettle. She watched his son screamed for help. One last shout, and she poured the steaming hot water on her hands and all over Blaine's right arm.

"Mama!" Blaine yelled in exhaustion, his voice was almost broken.

"Sir?" The taxi driver called.

Realizing he was not a seven year old anymore, Blaine pulled himself away from his hunted memory, but only found himself holding his right arm tightly. After he got off the taxi, there was no more room for any song anymore.

He watched the sky gradually turned grey.

No more sunny afternoons.

No more happy moments.

He stormed into his house, filled the kettle with water and turned on the gas. He waited until the kettle was boiled.

Behind the kitchen was the door to his basement. He switched the light on, took his kettle and went downstairs.

A girl in white dress was wrapped around the chair with tapes all over body and her mouth. She tried to kick the chair to break free as she saw Blaine was getting closer. She tried to shout for help but no a sound had come out. Blaine watched her in satisfaction.

"It was really sunny outside today. It was so... lovely." Blaine talked to the girl who watched him in terror.

"But then it turned so cloudy now." He distressed. "And now is all... suffocating."

Blaine turned his gaze at the kettle.

The girl shook her head hardly, tears wept across her face and the tapes, but everything was too late now.


	3. Mama

**Chapter Two**

**Mama**

Blaine had been in McKinley for almost two weeks now and every afternoon he found himself spending time in the library, studying alone. Things were a little different than what he had imagined to be. McKinley was somewhat an unwelcome place for new students. He could only hope that things would not get as dull as now after another week or so, since his audition for the glee club was scheduled on the third week. Blaine would not ask McKinley to offer him anything more than a glee club. His craving to sing had been bugging him all summer, it was an addiction without the cure, and singing was his only drug to escape the reality in this world.

Deep in his thought, he only noticed another student had taken a seat in front of him when the noise of flipping pages was made. That student, who was now scanning through paragraph to paragraph, had the same textbook as Blaine's, and he seemed to have no idea which part was assigned. Decided to be a better schoolmates than he was in Dalton, he cleared his voice and spoke to the boy.

"It's page thirty-one if you're in AP biology class."

The boy looked up, slightly confused about what Blaine had just said, he smiled shyly and turned to page thirty-one.

"We have the same textbook, so I assume you must be in AP biology class." Blaine explained further.

"Oh," the boy beamed, "that is very observant of you. Thank you."

"No worries."

In between their conversations Blaine noticed the boy had beautiful chestnut hair that looked so silky. His skin, pale but soft, left no room for marks or flaws. The watery blue eyes attached to Blaine's eyes, feeling even more puzzled now, the boy withdrew his eye contact away. He opened his notebook and began to write down notes on the blank page.

Blaine was stunned. He never found a boy attractive, but as exciting as it could be studying in a library, he felt the raising heart rate was going against his will to study. He could no longer concentrate on his reading, so instead of playing pretend, Blaine did the first move.

"Sorry to bother you again, but..." Hesitated, "Is there any chance you're in P.A. Wilson's class?"

The boy stopped, looked up to Blaine again with his gorgeous eyes, and when he finally realized he was being asked, he replied.

"No, I'm in C.L. Wilson's."

"Oh, what a shame. I heard the teachers were married, is that true? I mean, they have the same last name." Asked Blaine, trying to push away the thick mist of awkwardness.

The boy shrugged. "Maybe, I've heard about the rumours but never see them together."

"I'm Blaine Anderson, by the way." He extended his hand to the boy.

The boy smiled to him and shook on it. "Kurt Hummel."

The next ten minutes they both didn't speak. With his eyes skimming through the same page again and again, Blaine did not have an even slightest idea on how to make the small talks work. In Dalton full of boys of same grade, he never found himself in such an uncomfortable spot. The picture of Kurt's face flashing across his mind everytime when he tried to concentrate, unfamiliar of the feelings he was experiencing, he needed a walk to free his mind.

As he packed his things back in his bag, one of his pens dropped to the floor. He bent down to pick up the pen, unnoticed, Kurt was doing the same. When their hands touched each other's, Blaine felt the electric running through in his vein to his heart. Kurt laughed faintly and picked up the pen.

"Here you go." He handed over the pen to Blaine.

"Thanks." Blaine took the pen and put it back into his bag. "It's very nice to meet you, Kurt."

"Me too."

Blaine grabbed his hair. "I should go. I'll see you next time, maybe?"

"Sure." Kurt nodded.

Blaine walked out of the library. On his way to home, he wonder what today would mean to him. Surely, just a conversation with another boy would not change anything to his life, and surely they might not see each other again anyway in a big campus like McKinley High. But it didn't do his heart a justice. His heart was bumping in a rhythm he never met. The rhythm, strong at one beat, faint at another, like a fish swimming in a river, and he could never catch that fish. The less he tried to think about it, the more he recalled the details of the face of the boy.

His heart was a mystery under the endless cloudy sky.

The other side of the road was an old lady sitting at the bus station reading a broadsheet newspaper. Although it was at a distance, Blaine could see the picture and the title on the front page. In the picture it was a face of a female adolescent smiling, with title saying that she was missing. The traffic light turned green and Blaine crossed the road.

He bit his lips.

By the time his lower lip was all bruised with faint blood, he was standing in front of his home. He pushed the gate open and took out his key to open the door.

What had he done? He screamed in his head as he walked into the house. All of the sudden he had lost his energy and knelt down on the floor. His hands pressed against the cold ground and his eyes squeezed shut. Blaine wished there could be someone here to tell him that he was fine, it was all just a nightmare. Nothing was real and the monsters did not exist. He sat down, his head against the front door and buried his face into the darkness.

In the darkness there was no light, no voice, no guidance. Air never existed and ground that once to be firmed was now floating water. Blaine drifted, aimlessly, in the ocean of nothingness. He could feel waves of emotions, but they died out before he could reach them. A teardrop now seemed so insignificant. Nothing would compare to this hollow water that brought Blaine to strange places he never wanted to be. It was a deep hole in the ocean with no thoughts or echoes would ever escape, never. He was trapped, eternally.

"It's okay. You are going to be fine." A voice came from the kitchen.

"Kurt?" Bewildered, he opened his eyes and turned to the voice.

A figure with Kurt's voice stood in the kitchen. It moved slowly toward Blaine. He wept the tears that were blocking his view, and a familiar warm face appeared.

"No, it's your mother." The voice now became clear that it was indeed his mother.

She sat next to Blaine and held his head to her chest. "Hush, darling, you'll be fine." She comforted.

"I miss you so much, mama." Blaine sobbed. His body quivering in the warm hug he longed. He could even smell the washing powder that his mother once used. It was refreshing, lemon with a floral smell that he could not recognize. He had missed it.

"Please don't go, mama, stay with me." He begged.

His mother was still as pale and fragile as he remembered, and her skin was rough with scars after years of hard work to raise her family. But it was warm. The hug had always been warm even in the coldest day in winter storm. Her voice although aged along with her face, it was soothing to hear. Blaine held on tightly to his mother like a child, afraid that the next moment she would disappear.

"I won't, as long as you stay good."

"I will, mama." Blaine closed his eyes.

"And that's my boy." The voice fainted.

He knew his mama was gone, but he was too scared to open his eyes and check the reality. Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough, what was true would become untrue, and what was once a dream would come alive.

Across the room was a floor clock that his grandfather left for his mother. It had stopped working since a very long time. And Blaine, like the clock, was trapped in the cage of the past.


	4. Coffee Time

**Chapter Three**

**Coffee Time**

Backstage, stood a nervous young man. He had his eyes shut and his ears searched for every sound he could possibly hear. There were performances from other students; there were chatters and laughs; there were clapping and calling. Blaine tried to set his heart still.

The whole summer holiday and within the first two weeks of school, he had been thinking and picking songs to perform for his audition. He had done this for a million times already, but this one was different. This one was for the New Direction, the winner of the Nationals since 2008. He had watched them performed in the past competitions and had competed with them for two years, he knew the standard from this glee club was high. Being a lead singer in Dalton gave him some confidence, but singing for the New Direction was entirely different thing.

The New Direction asked for souls in their every performance, because, as Blaine quoted the head teacher of the glee club, "people don't just sing songs, they sing for their happiness, their sadness, their fear or even their anger. Every single song seeks for its existence and so do human beings. By singing it, we have to do it right." And for Blaine, he did not begin singing because he enjoyed it.

He sang, because it protected him away from his fear.

After the birthday incident, home had been a strange and horrifying place to stay. In his room, he would close the door, walked into his wardrobe and close that door too. In complete darkness, companied with screams and shouts from his mother, he began to sing. At that moment he realized darkness was not so scary anymore. In the darkness there were nothing to be seen, nothing to be heard and nothing to be felt but only his voice to sooth the insanity below him. Ever since then the nights had been his safeguard when his mother was asleep. The odd attachment to night and darkness had only grown stronger as he grew up.

"Next please! Umm, Blaine Anderson?" A shout called from front stage.

It was his turn after a splendid performance from a girl who sang her version of River Deep- Mountain High. He did not pay any attention for the song but from the reaction of the casting crew he knew that girl had set the bar even higher.

For now, it was his moment to show what he could do. Darkness was his guard from the reality, but eventually, he had to walk out from his angel, grow his wings and shine under the wild spotlights. Here he stood, against his fear, he would sing till he was the victory.

"Yes!" Blaine stepped out from the red curtains.

The spotlights were harsh to his eyes. Everything was a blur except strong white lights. He gazed at the crew, which some of them were chatting and some were doing their own things. But they all quiet down when the head teacher called out his name.

"And what're you performing today?" The head teacher asked.

On his left sat a male student. He was wearing a sharp yellow shirt that made him stood out from the crowd. With his sleeves up just above the elbows, he also had a purple scarf hung around his neck. The outfit was perhaps something Blaine would never wear, but it looked good on the body. Just as his eyes moved the focus to the face of that student, he found himself stared into a warm smile of a familiar face.

_Kurt_.

He gave a second to adjust his feeling.

"I Have Nothing," He looked to the boy, "by Whitney Houston."

"Alright, start when you're ready."

Kurt never left his gaze on Blaine. He kept his faint smile on as if he was wishing him luck. Blaine walked up to the piano and sat down, his finger pressing against the white keys lightly. He closed his eyes and inhaled.

* * *

The same day after school, Blaine was in the library once again. He chose his usual seat and opened his notes. As a Monday afternoon, there was far less students in the study hall than it was in Dalton. For some reasons, students here hated the library so much. It was almost described as the place for losers, the defeated, nerds that had no life outside of school. Blaine would not mind if anybody called him nerds, he did not care. All he cared for was today's audition.

Did he do well? Did he impress the group? If he didn't, he would be lost in McKinley. The glee club was the only reason he transferred, and nothing more. Being alone in this town, he wanted something hard to hold grip on, no more loose sand on the ground.

A shadow cast on his notes, covering the light for Blaine to read; he looked up and saw Kurt standing in front of him.

"Kurt?"

He watched the boy sat next to him. "Well, hello Blaine."

"Hi." Blaine cleared his throat.

"You did very well back then." Kurt admitted. "It was touching and beautiful to hear."

Blaine unconsciously rubbed his forehead as he listened to the compliment coming from a lovely voice. He could feel the temperature of his body getting hotter.

"Thanks, it really means a lot to me."

Kurt eyes twinkled. "I think I should introduce myself properly. Last time I wasn't in my best shape." He laughed. "Umm, my name is Kurt Hummel. I'm a senior here and I'm in the glee club. So, who are you, Blaine?"

It was always a fascinating question for Blaine to think about out of those three words, 'who are you'. Sometimes Blaine would avoid questions like these so he could try to stay out of a world he did not want to enter, but for most of the times he could easily make up a background. Today, however, under Kurt's magic spell, he was anxious about how he could answer to that.

"Okay." Blaine said followed with a chuckle. "I'm Blaine Anderson, a senior too... Actually I have just transferred to McKinley."

"Oh!" Kurt said excitingly. "Well then do you know anybody yet?"

"No. Umm, I think this is why I've been in the library every afternoon. I don't even study this hard." He scratched his hair and explained.

"Right, this is perfect!"

Perhaps sensing it was not very nice to say, he immediately corrected himself.

"I mean, this is perfect because I can show you around." He stuck the tip of his tongue out as to cover the strangeness. "I'm sorry, sometimes I just don't speak with a filter."

Blaine laughed. "It's okay."

"What are you studying now?" Asked Kurt.

"Nothing particular."

"Good, then pack your bag and come with me." He stood up and said to Blaine.

Blaine did what Kurt told him to. They walked out of the library and let Kurt led the way. Behind him, Blaine watched Kurt's back moved as he walked. He was not big, but muscular in his size. The khaki skinny jeans showed his perfect lines. It might seem off when Blaine described Kurt's walking as elegant, but Blaine just could not stop looking at him. His heart was bumping hard against his chest and he could not resist the attraction at all. Blaine narrowed his eyes, concentrated on Kurt's back; he imagined things that would never happen between him and Kurt.

"Okay. So I think you know that area well, since you're in the library all the time." Kurt looked around. "Maybe I'll show you the area outside the canteen? I could use some coffee, assignment night." He rolled his eyes as he mentioned his homework. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all." Blaine shook his head.

"Good, come this way."

They took a left turn and opened the canteen's door. The canteen was closed but there were still a couple of students sitting at the table, hanging out with their friends. Kurt walked toward the coffee machine and inserted a coin.

He turned around to Blaine and asked. "Have you tried the coffee from this machine yet?"

"Nope." Blaine answered.

"You should, it's actually pretty decent." He suggested as he took the cup that was filled with boiling hot cappuccino.

"I might as well try now." Blaine took a coin out of his purse, but Kurt got his first and inserted one for him.

"Oh Kurt, I should give you back the-"

"No need, save your dollar. It's on me." He sipped on his coffee.

"How nice of you, thank you." Blaine smiled and watched the coffee came out.

There were laughing and noises of school bags hitting on the metal table behind them as the other students were leaving the canteen. Now there were only two of them left, and somehow the air had turned thinner for Blaine to breathe.

"Try it." Kurt encouraged.

Blaine put his mouth on the spout, carefully sipped on the hot coffee. Boiling liquid was still his least favourite, but he thought he should give it a try.

"Oh god." Surprised, Blaine looked to Kurt who was now amused by the reaction.

"Pretty good, huh? It tasted just like water."

"Very funny." Didn't think he would fall for the joke, Blaine would applause to Kurt only if he did not have the coffee in his hand.

They then walked to the next door.

"Outside of this door, it's a place called wonderland, or simply what we called the stairs, are you ready?" Kurt turned his back to the exit doors and held onto the handles.

"I'm born ready." Blaine replied, try his hardest to match with Kurt.

"Alright." Kurt pushed the door open. "After you."

He stepped out and breathed on the fresh air. Finally his mind was refreshed after being inside of the building all day long.

"It's not really wonderful, but it's better than the library, I'd say."

"Yeah, and the sun is out." Blaine said.

They sat down at the nearest table. The metal was warm after being in the sun for the whole day. Blaine put down his awful coffee.

"So you said you were new." Kurt had both of his hands holding the cup.

"Yes."

"Are you from Lima? Or outside Lima?" He asked.

"Outside of Lima. I transferred from Dalton."

"Dalton?"

Blaine watched the shocked face from Kurt. Not believing what he had just heard, he asked again.

"You really are from Dalton?"

Blaine laughed in amusement. "Yeah."

"Why'd you want to come here? I mean, it's Dalton!" Kurt leaned closer to the table.

"It's going to sound absurd, but don't laugh. I came here for the glee club." Blaine defended himself. "You guys have a wonderful glee club and I just couldn't resist."

Kurt watched Blaine explained himself, but laughed anyway. "That is a brave move. I wouldn't if I were you, my dad would tear me apart if I did."

Blaine looked down, smiling.

"Oh wait, I remember you! You were the lead singer from Dalton on regional, weren't you?"

Blaine nodded.

"How do your glee friends think about this though? Wouldn't they be upset that they've lost such a great singer like you?" Kurt looked to Blaine, hands playing with the lid.

"It's alright, we didn't get along anyway."

"That's a shame." Kurt sighed. "But I have a feeling that you'll get super along with us, that is, if you got in. I'm sorry, mister Schue made our lips tight for the results."

"But again," he quickly added on, "you did very well, so I wouldn't worry about it if I were you."

Gave a faint smile, Blaine replied. "I hope so."

The conversation died out slowly and Kurt distracted himself to look around. Blaine, on the other hand, in between the moments of silence, he had his eyes drew to Kurt's, studying the delicate features that he had never seen on a boy. Just that split second, he realized he had seen Kurt before.

"Umm, Kurt." He called. "Is there any chance you did a solo on the regional? The songbird, maybe?"

"Yeah I did in fact, but that was like two years ago."

His eyes shone like he had found the treasure from the sea. "You – you changed so much, Kurt. I remembered you just looked a little boy back then, I swear."

"Right." Kurt laughed awkwardly. "Puberty, that's what it does." He joked. "Look at you, you're hotter than I recalled you as too."

Once again Kurt let his words slipping out of his mouth before he realized it, he cleared his throat. "I mean, you know... more handsome."

Now his face was blushed, and Blaine found it to be adorable.

Kurt moved his eyes to Blaine's clothes. White cardigan over a red shirt and navy pants, it looked fashionable, but under a weather of eighty degree, he wondered if Blaine felt hot. Just as he opened his mouth to ask, a friend of his came to him.

"Mercedes!" Kurt turned around to meet the voice.

"Rachel and I are going now. Are you coming?"

"Yeah, of course." He answered. "Wait, let me introduce Blaine first. Blaine, this is Mercedes, and Mercedes, Blaine!"

"Nice to meet you." Blaine stood up to shank hands as Mercedes did the same.

Kurt put on his bag, one hand on his eyebrows, glared at Blaine against the Sun. "I guess we have to end here now. We should catch up next time."

"Definitely." Blaine agreed.

"Alright. I'll see you around. Bye." Kurt waved and left with his friend.

Blaine watched Kurt to be completely out of his sight before he left the stairs. Their conversations had been lovely, but left him so undone. He wished the time were longer, because he could not have enough just to hear and watch Kurt talks.

These empty feelings.

Blaine breathed heavily and put his hand on his right arm.

Kurt was different to anyone he had ever met in his life. He was charming, optimistic and had been very kind to him. But could he return the same thing? Back in Dalton he had stayed away from other's business, isolated himself away from the living, but here came Kurt, who was starting to melt his heart little by little.

Those empty feelings.

He sipped on his coffee, which had already turned cold. The taste was terrible, but he wasn't going to put it to waste.

"Kurt." He whispered.

Found himself smiling like a fool, he checked his watch. It was already 5.30 when he left school.

He hurried home.

He had to hurry before the shadow came out.


	5. Cold-hearted

**Chapter Four**

**Cold-hearted**

It was a calm, peaceful night, accompanied with callings from the summer cicadas. His window half opened, without curtains to block away the moonlight, Blaine was sitting on the floor against the cold wall. He was exhausted.

He could go to bed, and just a few steps away, he could sleep on a soft mattress and find his rabbit hole to fall into tonight. Things, however, always go against one's will. Blaine felt unsettled. He knew he was sitting on the floor but he couldn't feel it. Everything was so lost in his head, he had no clue why was he feeling the way he felt now, and neither did he understand what that sensation was about. He might have regretted the bad choice he made in the past, he might have felt guilty about the action he took in the past, and he might have been confused for all night about the past, he had never felt so different, so lonely. Blaine thought of today and could not make sense out of it. He did his audition, he met Kurt again and hung out at school for a while, and he also knew one of Kurt's friends. He was surrounded with people, with Kurt, how could he feel so lonely like he had never been there before now?

Moving with time, the Moon slowly changed its position in the sky. The shadow of Blaine cast on the floor, distorted into a long figure reflecting his gesture.

He gasped.

Night used to be his guardian angel, his comfort. Sometimes things went wild and sometimes he let his mind rested on pillows. He would never feel like tonight if it were a week ago. Now that he had met Kurt, his angel was turning into an evil that Blaine could not recognize. Kurt was just a person he had met for a few times, why would such a tiny corner of his life impacted so much in his whole world?

On the other side of the bed, Blaine knew his angel was laughing at the human error in him, twisting his fate as a result of the betrayal in their deal. His existence suddenly seemed like a joke in a game that his angel was playing.

"Go away." Blaine left off his sore voice speak. "Please."

But he knew it never would.

As he stopped rocking, Blaine could feel his body was an empty shell he left on Earth. Not a point to focus at, he looked to the plain wall lifelessly until the Moon was gone.

* * *

"Quiet please."

Mister Schuester wrote down 'New Chapter' on the whiteboard and faced to his students. Blaine stood behind him, his hand holding onto the strap of his shoulder bag, his mind was filled with hundreds of ideas on how to ease himself into a new group.

This morning the results from the audition had come back. In Kurt's hands he was holding a piece of A4 paper and posted on the school noticeboard. There were a few names under 'callback' category on the top half of the page. Blaine scanned to search his name but failed to find so, he could instantly feel his heart turned ice cold. But on the second half of the paper, it said 'and congratulation to the new member of New Direction', which only two names were presented. The first name was a girl called Sugar Motta and the second name, as Blaine found himself staring for such a long time that the crowd who came to see the results had already been gone, written his name on it.

After classes had finished for the day, he walked swiftly to the choir room as Kurt had shown him before. He met mister Schue and waited for the girl to come. Mister Schue explained briefly about why he was put straight in the club. Emotions were the answer. After waiting for about fifteen minutes, they had decided that the girl was not coming at all, so it was just Blaine himself to face the new adventure in a new world.

"A new chapter." Mister Schue said. "After we had caught up with fun stories and songs we had missed after a long holiday within our first two weeks, I think we can say that it's time to begin a new chapter!"

The students cheered. But Blaine spotted one girl who was also looking at him. The girl was wearing a high ponytail in her cheerleader's uniform. She had no smile or excitement written on her face, she seemed so angry with him for some reasons. Her stare was making him uncomfortable, it made him wonder if he shouldn't be here at all. He switched his attention to Kurt, who was sitting just below that girl.

Kurt was surrounded with a few other girls too, and the only one he knew was Mercedes. But with guess, he thought the girl who assembled a few Jewish features with long dark brown hair had to be Rachel Berry, who was one of the lead singers in competitions he had watched. Then it was a girl who was wearing cheerleader's uniform with dirty blonde hair, her body was leaning toward the boy in a wheelchair but her eyes were focusing on somewhere else. Blaine then looked back to Kurt.

Kurt was grinning at him, like he had seen it coming. Occasionally he or Rachel would chat into each other's ears.

"And for our new chapter, please welcome our first new member! Blaine Anderson!"

"Hi." Blaine said. "I'm Blaine and I'm new to McKinley. It's my honour to be here and thank you so much for having me."

"You deserved it." Mister Schue said. "But tell us more about yourself, like why do you want to join the glee club?"

"The reason I wanted to join is," He took a breath and looked to Kurt. Kurt was waiting for the answer as his eyes were shinning with his curiosity. Blaine tried to look somewhere else, but it was tiring to fight against his body, so he rested his sight on Kurt.

"I like how singing can make me forget about the unhappy moments, and..." He paused for a second.

At this moment, Blaine realized he was on the path to honesty. A few years ago when he joined the Warblers, the glee club in Dalton, he made his reason clear and simple. "Because singing is what I enjoy." A quick answer like that and everybody would have no doubt in it. But today, standing in a similar situation, he couldn't open his mouth to lie. His tongue would stop him from speaking if he were going to make up excuses to pass the question. His heart was suddenly awake, eager to tell the truth under his skin. It didn't make sense to Blaine. All these feelings he had been experiencing recently just didn't make any sense at all. He didn't understand why couldn't he just do the same like before. When he looked right into Kurt's eyes, his heart forced him to speak more of himself. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't reveal his dark side to anybody under the daylight. He had to hide himself in a quiet space without anybody noticing. The ugly truth would even be too hard for Blaine to handle.

"And having a big group to belong to just makes everything better." He explained.

Kurt, who looked slightly surprised by the genuine answer from Blaine, he was the first one to applaud loudly. Followed by the others, Blaine shyly walked to the empty seat as mister Schue told him to do so.

"That," mister Schue emphasized, "is a brilliant respond. And in this new chapter I think we should also focus on belonging too."

Kurt put up his hand in the air for his permission to speak.

"Yes, Kurt?"

"Do you guys remember last year's sectional and regional? Remember the performances from Dalton Academy?" He asked.

"No way!" An Asian girl gasped. "Blaine was that lead singer!"

The girl in high ponytail crossed her arms and gave it a sarcastic laugh. "Oh yeah, the pips."

Rachel looked up to that girl but then turned her head away. "Not now, Santana."

Santana rolled her eyes and bumped into the back of her seat.

"How could I possibly forget that?" Surprised, mister Schue asked himself, but he quickly changed the topic. "And since we've such a strong group now," He went to the piano where put his bag, and pulled out a pile of song notes. He divided the pile and handed them to the members, "we should start our preparation for sectional as soon as we can."

"Oh whoa. Wait a second." Santana stood up. "Are we just going to let a guy who happens to be the lead singer from the enemy school to spy on us?"

"Was." Rachel corrected.

"Santana – "

"Please. We had like ten people auditioned and why only this guy got in? Why can't we have another lousy Broadway-wanna-be or a gay guy who wears rainbow flag?" She argued.

Red in the face, mister Schue appeared to be very angry at Santana. On the other hand, both Rachel and Kurt looked furious and upset. Blaine was confused and he did not understand where he did wrong. He looked at the group in puzzle.

"You are kicked out from this group." Mister Schue snapped.

Perhaps a little in shock to hear, Santana's chest was moving up and down fast. She walked down the stairs and said to mister Schue. "You're just replacing him."

The boy who sat next to Blaine spoke. "I'm Sam." He whispered. "Welcome to glee club."

It started to thunder in a humid afternoon. The heavy rain refreshed the stifling air. A few empty cans of cokes on the road that were probably left by the students got washed down by a stream of water to the side of the storm sewer. Blaine sat on the stairs under the roof of school front door and waited for Kurt to come.

His first glee rehearsal turned out to be a cold war. Although everybody else welcomed him and made him feel warm, one disgraceful sniff was all it took to ruin one's hope.

Blaine knew he didn't do anything wrong, but the sense of guilt sat strong in his gut. He felt he was responsible for what had happened.

"I'm terribly sorry." Kurt came from behind and sat next to Blaine. "It has nothing to do with you, I just wish you know that."

"It's okay, I can understand."

"It's just that..." Kurt waited. He was biting his lips in grief. "Before the summer holiday started, we had a member who passed away."

Blaine frowned in surprise. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"His name was Finn." He continued. "Everybody was in shock, we still are, but we are starting to accept the fact that he was no longer with us." Kurt sighed. "I think Santana is just... not over with her guilt for Finn yet."

Blaine didn't speak.

"They used to be very close in sophomore year, but Santana didn't treat him nicely." He told Blaine. "It was just Santana being herself. She isn't a bully, you know? She says mean things to you, but... in the end she's always the one who cares about us the most."

Blaine nodded.

"We're like family. And losing Finn..." Kurt exhaled, looking at the rain; he then gave a faint smile to Blaine. "I'm so sorry you have to put our grief on your shoulders too, but give us time and we'll be fine."

Blaine nodded again.

A silence followed.

"What do you think life is, Blaine?" Kurt asked.

"I don't really know." Haven't said anything for a while, Blaine's voice turned hoarse.

"I mean it's funny isn't it?" Kurt began. "We live and we die... Not knowing why we're here or why we're feeling in a certain way we do, and then we just sleep forever. I think about how my death would be sometimes." Kurt now faced to Blaine. "I imagined myself an old man, lying on a soft bed, surrounded by the people I love. That's the only way I could think of it."

Blaine gazed on the sadness in Kurt's eyes. His pulse jumping in a mess, his hands were cold and he could not think of anything to say. He looked down to the ground.

"And then you heard the news everyday that somebody died in an accident or killed by a cold-hearted murderer, and you just selfishly feel relieved because it wasn't yourself, or not somebody you know." Kurt bit his lips. Maybe he realized the conversation had gone too deep, he brightened up his tone.

"I'm sorry. We should talk about something else."

"No, don't be." Blaine replied.

A loud car horn sounded from the car park, it was Puckerman.

Kurt opened his umbrella that he was holding earlier and shared it with Blaine as they walked to Puckerman's car.

"Hey I'm taking Quinn and Artie home, wanna squeeze in?"

"Yeah come with us." The girl who wore a floral print dress, Quinn, said. "Did you hear the news today? The police found that poor missing girl's body just outside of Lima. It makes me scared to walk home alone now."

"But there's only one seat – "

"It's okay, I can walk home." Blaine said. "It's only a few minutes away."

"Alright then, hop on, Hummel boy."

"You sure?" Kurt turned to Blaine.

"Yeah." He confirmed.

"Okay, then at least take my umbrella." Kurt gave the umbrella to Blaine and got onto the backseat. "I'll see you tomorrow." He waved.

Blaine stood at the same spot and waved. He waited the car was out of his sight before he closed the umbrella and let himself soaked in rain.

He couldn't take that kind offer. He didn't deserve to be treated nicely.

He closed his eyes.

_A cold-hearted murder_. A voice in his head said.

Maybe he really was a monster.


	6. Accidents Happen

**Chapter Five**

**Accidents Happen**

The hallway.

School hallways were the places where many captivating things happened. Pen dropped, door slammed, some were coming from their classes, and some were leaving. Blaine stood next to his locker, not caring if the others were watching, stared into the souls inside this vivid corridor. He wished for one more things to happen.

_Kurt_.

It had been four days since Blaine last spotted Kurt talking to his friends while he took out his books from his locker. Blaine was standing at the opposite end, barely had a clear view on what books Kurt was holding, and two seconds later he was gone. Like many times before, Blaine kept his distance. It wasn't his initial intention, he was only afraid if Kurt found out more about himself, he would not think Blaine as the person he originally thought to be. It was a truly scary thought. So he embraced the moment when he could merge himself into the background, listened to all kind of sounds coming to his ears like a chaotic melody. His body leaning against the cold, hard metal, he felt the time swept across his face.

"Excuse me."

Blaine turned to see who was speaking.

"Haven't seen you in a long time. What're you doing?"

"Kurt!" Blaine said in surprise.

Kurt, who came from behind, was now leaning against the locker doors copying what Blaine did. His eyes scanned through the hallways but did not find anything interesting so he moved on.

"I was just thinking." Blaine wasn't even sure what he was doing, he explained vaguely.

"Thinking." Kurt looked into his eyes, but then he sighed. "You're a very mysterious man, Blaine."

Blaine looked back.

"I've known you for almost a month now, and I still don't know what you do on the weekends or where you live. Lima is such a small place so that must mean something." Said Kurt followed with a laugh. "I want to know more about you, as a friend."

Blaine nodded unconsciously. He had no idea how to face Kurt's curiosity without concerning too much about revealing his ugly side. He knew he could not keep his silence for much longer, but what could he do? He couldn't resist the magnetic attraction from Kurt either. He could not imagine his life rewound back to the past few months.

"Well since you nodded," Kurt said as they walked slowly, "I get to ask you one question."

Blaine smiled.

"Why are you always wearing long sleeves in summer? They're cute, don't guess me wrong, but don't you feel hot?"

"I – " Blaine thought for a second. "Hey, you asked two questions."

"It counts as one." He shrugged.

His right eyebrow raised, Blaine recognized Kurt was not going to give up easily, he answered. "It's a very long story, I... really don't know where to begin with."

Kurt was going to encourage him to say more, but he realized he had put Blaine in an uncomfortable spot.

"It's okay. I don't want to force you to explain anything you don't want." Kurt continued. "Let's have coffee."

"Now?" Asked Blaine, tried to catch up with the quick topic change.

"Yeah, aren't you just going home? Or do you have something else to do?"

"No, um, yeah sure." Blaine nodded. "Oh but, not the school one please. It's pretty horrible."

Kurt laughed.

"Let's go to Lima Bean, they have student discount there."

"I should – "

A nasty bang stopped Blaine from talking. He turned back and saw Kurt was sitting on the floor in shock with his face flushed in red. Students who witnessed it happened froze in their spots, eyes opened widely as they watched. The guy who was in his football gear slammed Kurt against locker as he was laughing in disrespect. He walked near them.

"What's up faggots?"

Blaine knelt down and checked on Kurt. Kurt seemed to be shocked but luckily there was no injure. Blaine helped him to get up as he looked to football player who just walked past them. On the back of his uniform it said 'Karofsky' with number eleven below.

He stopped the guy.

"Hey you!"

"Blaine, don't. He's much stronger than you." Kurt tried to convince him.

But Blaine was not going to let him get away free. His fury was growing like boiling water inside. He ran in front of the boy, face to face, he bit his teeth down.

"You don't touch him." In anger, he warned.

"Oh yeah?" Karofsky touched Blaine's right shoulder with a mouthful of ignorance. "Did I ruin your little tea party with your lady friend there?"

Blaine gave his warning, he gave the guy a chance to stop and never come back, but he was not going to tolerate the bully. He grabbed the shirt collar and shoveled him to the locker.

"I said," his eyes narrowed and his voice lowered, "you do not touch him."

"We'll see about that." Karofsky fought back, he pushed Blaine to the lockers on the other side, making huge metal noises when combination locks hitting one and other.

The adrenaline ran through his veins, his hands turned into a fist, aiming for the head. If anyone wanted to go against him, Blaine thought, they should watch it. The guy woke up the monster in him who had been asleep for a month and now he had to pay for his words. He hit right on Karofsky's right eye as he watched him covered the eye and groaned. Karofsky tried to hit back with one hand but Blaine dodged, his hand landed on the hard surface instead.

"You little fucker!" He yelled at Blaine.

Did not think he would fight back, Blaine was caught in unexpected. Karofsky pinned him down with the side of his shoulder pad while Blaine was trying to break free from the fists.

"Stop it Karofsky!" Kurt shouted. "You're just a scared little ignoramus boy who can't accept the fact that you're as ordinary as we are, so get off him!"

Karofsky breathed heavily and glared at Blaine. "Well push me one more time and you'll be dead. Both of you."

He pointed at them and walked away, leaving Blaine quietly moaned in pain. Kurt rushed to him.

"Oh god, we need to get you to the nurse."

"No." Blaine shook his head. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine!" Kurt argued back. "He hurt your shoulder really bad. We should make sure he didn't break a bone or – "

"Kurt." Blaine put his hand on Kurt to comfort the distress. "Just get some ice packs and I'll be fine."

"But – "

"Please." He reassured.

"Okay. Wait in the changing room and I'll get the ice pack."

Blaine watched Kurt hurried down the hallway and he pushed the changing room's door open. He could barely touch his shoulder without any pain. He sat down on the bench and waited.

It was not his first time to see bullies at school, and it was not the first time he was one of the victims, but it was the first time he chose to speak up. The conflict inside was killing him. What exactly was he now? Was he now a murder who was against bullying in schools? How absurd that sounded to Blaine.

He smiled in bitter.

"I've got it." The door was slammed open, Kurt, short in his breath, had run as fast as he could with the ice pack and a few paper towers in his hands.

Kurt sat next to Blaine and hit the instant cold pack on the bench.

"Take off your shirt."

In surprise, Blaine swallowed. He did not want Kurt to see the scars on his arm.

"I can do it myself."

"No, Blaine." Kurt demanded. "I need to see how bad it is. Take it off."

Blaine sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"My right arm." Blaine looked to Kurt.

"Your right arm?"

A moment was paused, then Blaine spoke again.

"You asked me why am I wearing long sleeves." He explained. "It's my right arm."

Blaine carefully lifted up his shirt and tried not to hurt his shoulder, but each single movement was painful. He groaned.

"Let me help you." Although unsure what Blaine was trying to show him, Kurt helped him to take off the shirt as gentle as he could. The moment when the shirt was fully taken off, Kurt gasped in surprise.

"Those are burnt scars..." He said.

"It's ugly." Blaine frowned and looked away.

"No. It's not." Kurt commented. He put the ice pack on the paper towers and applied on Blaine's left shoulder. The dark bruise covered half of the shoulder. He wished the bruise was on him instead.

"Okay um, I'm gonna try to rub your shoulder so the bruise will heal quicker, okay? It's gonna hurt."

Blaine nodded.

Using the ice pack, Kurt rubbed around the shoulder softly. His sight, however, could not leave the scars. He knew it was rude to stare, but he could almost sense those throbbing pain just by watching the enormous scars on Blaine's arm. It extended from the shoulder to just above the wrist. He could feel that Blaine knew he was staring at it, so he asked to ease his uneasy atmosphere in the room.

"How did you get those scars?"

Blaine cleared his voice.

"It was on my seventh birthday. I had an accident."

"I'm really sorry."

Blaine smiled faintly. "It's fine. It was my fault anyway."

Kurt smiled back but quickly returned to the bruise. He put on light pressure on the ice pack and rubbed around on it.

Blaine let go a moan.

"Did I hurt you?" Kurt stopped and asked in worry.

Blaine shook his head. "No, it feels much better."

"Well, I owe you more than just a cup of coffee now." Kurt joked, concentrating on the shoulder.

"You don't owe me anything."

Kurt laughed. "I think I do – "

He stopped.

Blaine put his hand onto Kurt's. He put down the ice pack and held his hand, his eyes looked into the grey blue maze.

"You don't."

He leaned toward Kurt, with his hand holding on the cheek, he kissed on the soft lips. But Kurt broke the kiss, he moved away from Blaine.

"You should put your shirt on. I think it's gonna be fine by tomorrow." Kurt looked shocked. He said to Blaine as he tried to catch his breathes.

Blaine realized he did the wrong move as he watched Kurt stood in unsettlement. A moment later he finally nodded to agree and put his shirt on.

"You just need to put the ice pack on again once you get home." Kurt grabbed his bag. "I should go now."

Blaine nodded, but didn't say anything.

"I'll see you around." Kurt left.

Air started to thicken and the silence in the room started to become hard to endure. He stood up, feeling the whole world was spinning around him, and he punched the locker hard.

Blaine sighed.

He sat down on the bench and covered his face in his hands.

It was too late to take his wish back.


End file.
